Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Rachel vs. Lord Voldemort...

Let me just tell you about my past weekend.
Well no not really 'he who must not be named' and myself are definitely not back togther but I did see him this weekend that has left me with one question....

When exactly can I expect to start knowing better?

Not to get all Carrie Bradshaw on you (even though secretly I love to) but it just seems that you can think you are over a breakup, you can go through the pain and the agony and the staying in your pajamas long after it gets embarassing but all it takes is one encounter and everything kinda comes flooding back.

In the 2 1/2 years that we spent together let's just say that honesty was never really an option with him and despite all my darling friend's attempts to get me to end it for good I always found myself accepting his half-assed attempts to get me back. I think this had a lot of to do with the fact that he was so amazing in the beginning and was so awesome and great with his friends and family it was so frustrating that he wasn't like that with me. It was definitely a really hard time for me where I kinda of lost all respect and confidence and was really miserable. So it ended finally in October and though I had a few hiccups with talking to him we have stayed broken up and both realized that it's just not going to happen. So I did what I had not done the other 500 times we broke up... I started to get over it and I thought I was doing a damn good job until Saturday. We saw each other out and within minutes I received a text from him asking to hang out and just like that I agreed.

Without even having to tell any of my friends I know that this would have been the conversation...

Needless to say Sunday morning this was exactly how I felt...

Yeah so I got nothing. Thanks for reading my rant, I just can't believe that after everything I was willing to fall back into everything that I know is bad for me. Any wise words of wisdom?


  1. first of all. i love that you threw in the sex and the city clips. next. i dont know what you're going through because i am currently still in my first big relationship so when/ if it ends we can cope together.
    all i can say is be strong. you'll be over it when youre ready and when you really want it, it will happen.

  2. I ask myself that question alot but at some point I pray it gets better.
    I love Sex and the City!!

  3. Have faith. You will get over it! I back and forthed with my ex for almost 9 years. One day I met my now hubs, realized I was kinda into him, and ended it with the ex. Four years later we're about to celebrate our second anniversary and our little man is about to celebrate his first bday. Hang in there!

  4. You have an award on our blog!!

  5. what helped me was to just think of everything that bothered me during the relationship, all of the things i found annoying, the frusteration and arguments, and to write it down (you have to reread it and let it irritate you, not rationalize or justify them). The more you think about what you didn't like, and what you were unhappy about (you deserve to be treated well!!) the more irritating you'll find him and the feelings will fade away. It isn't always easy, but it worked for me!

  6. The second video is currently helping me through a breakup. I keep remembering that as wonderful as my who shall not be named could be at times...the person he was most of the time just did not deserve me.

    I know how you feel. You'll get through this, you'll move on and get your self confidence back to where it was before him and you'll meet someone who treats you like the princess you are. I know it sounds easy for me to say, but actually it's not at all. I'm kind of saying it to myself at the same time...helping you, or trying at least, is helping me. Just like reading this blog has helped me tonight...when it's Friday, and I'm home, and I wonder what he's doing.

  7. Ahhh, this is SOOOOOO my life!!!!!


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