Monday, May 4, 2009

Rachel vs. MFDD...

So I was driving into work this morning and heard on the radio that I have yet another disorder! Ok maybe not but they were talking about MFDD - Modern Female Dating Disorder and apparently this has come about because woman feel there is such slim pickins out there that psychologists are starting to think there is something wrong with us.

Are you a woman who is pretty successful in most parts of your life—good job, great friends, nice apartment—but you can’t seem to get it together when it comes to meeting guys and dating? We used to think this was normal, but now there’s a name for the “disorder”: Modern Female Dating Anxiety. Ryan and Jessica Cassady, a husband and wife duo who work (respectively) as a life coach and a clinical psychologist/sex therapist, introduce the term in Stop Wondering If You’ll Ever Meet Him. Apparently, MFDA is when normally self-assured women struggle with dating, developing symptoms like sweaty palms, shallow breathing, and obsessive behavior as a result of modern dating practices. The shift from more formal courtships to casual dating, booty calling, and hookups seem to have stripped some successful women of their confidence. Yes, dating in this day and age is complicated with no clear rules, but we feel a little torn. While it’s nice to know we’re not alone in being short of confidence in the romantic relationships part of our lives, we’re not so sure we have a disorder that requires a name. [Sydney Morning Herald]

Ok so first things first sweating palms and shallow breathing? Yeah not so much but I will say that after dealing with many not-so-nice guys (some of you may also know them as douchebags) I have developed a "i'm kinda over it" attitude. I just think that each time you are hurt or disappointed by someone you love it becomes harder and harder for you to let your guard down for the next guy as unfair as that is. I don't think I have a disorder I just think I am sick of/scared to really like someone just to have it turn into something really bad like a lot of relationships do.

I broke up with 'He who must not be named' (a nickname given by my darling girlfriends) back in October after 2 1/2 years of just crap (that's a whole nother post all together) and since then I have gone on a couple dates but I have made a ton more and cancelled them last minute. I'm not quite sure why I do this because while I am making the date I have every intention of going but when the day actually comes I always have to find an excuse to bail.

Currently I have a date for this week with a guy who is really sweet, smart and must be incredibly understanding because I have been making dates with him for years it seems (we dated a little in high school and have kept in touch off and on since then but never actually hang out). Finally he sent me a message saying that he was trying yet again to get together with me. I agreed and said let's hang out on Wednesday... we'll see how that goes I guess.


  1. The MFDD stuff is really interesting, it seems like they make a good point. Dating is definitely so informal these days. Good luck on your date!

  2. Both guys and girls suffer from the increasingly lax courtship practices in place these days.

    No formal rules means no codified behaviours, which results in everyone at a loss for what to do.


  3. Just found you over at SITS and we always seem to hit roll call around the same time :) Cute blog and what adorable etsy items! I may have to buy myself one sometime soon! Anyways, just wanted to say keep the good work up lady! xo

  4. I think you guys are missing the point a bit. The way I read this does have to do with changed gender roles in our society. But as a guy, I think the difficulty they are referring to is with successful, independent women. Not that there's anything wrong with that - I'm all for equality. It has more to do with our primal wiring. Men want to feel needed. They want to be a hero to the women in their life. If a woman can do everything on her own, it's hard to maintain that feeling. And, what if she, gulp, does it better, ie salary, etc. I think women are looking for this feeling as well. And if you're highly successful...that creates the difficulty MFDA refers to...

  5. Okay, I'm sorry, but I think I might have MFDD. haha! I have sweaty palms, shallow breathing, get nervous when I go on dates. It also happens when I go to job interviews or have to make a presentation, LOL...wait, this is all normal, isn't it? :)

  6. Aww good luck on your date!! Hope it goes beyond well :)

  7. OH MY GOSH! I do the same thing with fully knowing I'm going to cancel at the last minute...I don't know what it is. I broke up with my he who shall not be named only 3 weeks ago...and every guy that pops up seems great but I seriously just flake at the last minute!

    Yay, I'm not alone.
    I hope your date went well though :) XO


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