Monday, June 8, 2009

Rachel vs Boys...

I don't know what it is lately but I have been running into stupid boys left and right and while it is very fun to laugh at them it is also making me ask myself "Were they dropped on their heads as babies?? What is going on here??". While this is seriously crushing my hopes of ever finding a nice/normal/HONEST/funny guy, it will at least make for some funny blog stories. Here are last week's biggest offenders...

Red T-Shirt Boy - Oh jeez we were having a very fabulous time yesterday at the Piazza, QuestLove was doing his thing (I love The Roots) and Sunday Funday was in full effect. It was all great until you decided to sit at the table next to us, get belligerent, take your shirt off and start dancing around. At that point we were enjoying laughing at you, it wasn't until you decided to make disgusting comments to my friend and get angry at her because she wouldn't talk to you (even though you were obviously gay so why would you care if she talked to you or not?). Then it was priceless when you got into a fight in the parking lot and security put you in a headlock and embarassed you in front of everyone. Shame on you Red T-Shirt Boy, try harder next time to be less of a scumbag!

Belt Smackin Boy - Should've known because you were with Red T-Shirt Boy but you seemed nice enough even apologizing for his behavior to my friend and pulling him away. However, when you took your belt off in the parking lot, started fighting with your other friend and beating him with the belt (while it was funny cause he wasn't even hitting him) it just made you look so lame. Shame on you Belt Smackin Boy, try harder next time to not get the urge to take your belt off and fight someone you're a grown man.

Lord Voldemort - Ahh yes I suspect that everyone kinda thought he would be on this list. Yes I know it is my fault because I keep giving you the benefit of the doubt, insisting that you are good guy trapped in a shitty guy's body. I must give it to you because you fool me everytime even though at this point I have seen all of your tricks. Your ability to completely win me over with your kindness is an artform. Telling me you miss me, how you wanna hang out, do dinner, be friends. It all sounded so lovely and good that after all the crap we have been through that maybe we have finally made it out to the other side. That all my days of being hurt over you, crying, losing sleep, eating chocolate and wanting to keep this completely screwed up relationship going will finally pay off and we can have something normal and stress-free. Oh darling if I had a dollar everytime you did a complete 180 in 24 hours I would be one rich chica! Oh don't worry it was totally not embarassing to not hear from you the day we are supposed to have this amazing friend dinner only to have me finally text you and get back "Got busy gotta reschedule". Thanks for that 'friend'. Shame on you Lord Voldemort, try harder next time to be less of a jerk who has this obsession with swooping in randomly to make sure I will still give you a chance to be a nice guy but then changing your mind and going back to being "He Who Must Not Be Named".
Honorable Mention: Ketchup Girl - Ahh yes even though you are not a boy you are still stupid and gross. I understand it's nice to get some attention every once in awhile however, getting it by squirting ketchup all over your chest and wiping it off, what I assume to be, sexily is not the way. Shame on you Ketchup Girl, try harder next time to be not disgusting and keep the ketchup where it belongs... on a hotdog!!
Can't wait to see who i'll encounter this week!!


  1. Awww, I do apologize to you Rachel for the actions of my gender! haha Yes, all of us are made in stupid factory but I assure you that some of us do learn and grow up! :D LOL and yes The Roots are awesome!

  2. Oh geez, you have a lord voldemort as well? Don't we all!!

  3. I agree! men must have been hit on their heads! but then they do say they come from mars do they not? I’ll hold thumbs that prince charming will whisk you away on his valiant steed where you will one day live happily ever after!

  4. lol... boys are stupid.. throw rocks at them... ;)


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